1. The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten .
4. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
5. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
6. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
10. To all you virgins – thanks for nothing .
11. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12. All men are idiots – I married their king.
13. How can I be overdrawn – I still have cheques.
14. Life’s a buffet – so eat me!
15. Out of my mind – back in 5 minutes.
16. Keep honking – I’m reloading.
17. Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
18. I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ.
19. Sometimes I wake up grumpy- other times I let her sleep.
20. A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
21. Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.
22. Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.
23. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
24. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
25. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck .
26. Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
27. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
28. Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
29. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
30. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
31. Why can’t I be rich instead of so d@mn good looking?
Dan het ek nou die dag die een gesien op `n bakkie , op die N12 naby Brakpan.
How is my driving:Report bad driving at www.gofuckyourself.com, tiepies.
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