Jack Nicholson

Vergewe my maar ek is mal oor ander se sêdinge, hier is ‘n paar classics van Jack Nicholson, meeste daarvan sy eie en so hier en daar uit ‘n movie uit, Enjoy 😉

“People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch”.

“The minute that you’re not learning I believe you’re dead”.

There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend”

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We’re in a race against time, until we run out of money”

“Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love”

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And what is a younger woman? I mean, I’m pretty old. Almost everyone is younger”

Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I haven’t been a rogue most of my life’.

With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 60″

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch’.

I’ll tell you one thing: Don’t ever give anybody your best advice, because they’re not going to follow it’.

“I only take Viagra when I’m with more than one woman”.

“I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships, I’ve always thought that it’s counterproductive to have a theory on that’.

“Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.”

“If you suck on a tit the movie gets an R rating. If you hack the tit off with an axe it will be PG’“Eat breakfast 300 yards from 4,000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous

“I’m drowning here, and you’re describing the water!”

Black hurricanes

Black hurricanes….Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Latisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal.

I am NOT making this up! She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in ‘language’ that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn’t understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report. I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that’s too hard to understand.
I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says… ‘Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin’ fo’ yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! ‘Bitch be a category fo’! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo’ chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo’ de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!’

By ons sal dit seker Hurricane Manto wees!

Die dood is so finaal.

Die Dood is so finaal. Ek ag myself nog baie gelukkig op ouderdom 44.Of eintlik dink ek die Here is goed vir my, ja vir ander ook.Mense is te geneig om die Here vir hulle self toe te eien.Ek het nog niemand wat baie na is aan my aan die dood afgestaan nie.Wel my twee oumas is albei in die negentiger jare oorlede.Ek was vrala na aan die een maar ons het 400 kilometer uitmekaar gewoon.My oupas is albei oorlede nog voor ek vier jaar oud was.

Maar albei my ouers leef nog, al my broers en my suster leef nog, al my goeie vriende en swaars lewe nog.Maar in Maart is my gewese swaer 55 jaar oud oorlede aan `n hartaanval in Pretoria.Ja ons was goeie vriende en het lekker saam gekuier.Ons kon kuier en man kon die ou braai.Hy het net `n slag met enige vleis gehad en almal het daarvan gepraat.

Maar gister en vandag verlang ek vreeslik na hom, ek dink aan die dae wat ons pap en kaiings geeet het met lekker varktjoppies en sous by `n restaurantjie in Derdepark naby Zambesi afrit in Pretoria.Gister en vandag wou ek hom bel en se hi Christo wanneer gaan ons weer daar eet.Maar dan slaan dit my soos `n voorhammer ,Christo is dood , hy lewe nie meer nie.

Eendag het ons saam met hom om `n braai gekuier, hy het hoenderrugstringetjies en skaaptjoppies gebraai, hy het `n potpap op die rooster gehad , `n pond botter sout en wit peper langs die vuur. En almal het uit die pot met jou hand pap geskep, met `n stuk botter gesmeer en met sout en peper geshaia. Geen borde, messe en vurke, sous of slaai nie en almal het van die rooster af hulle vleis geeet.

Hy het altyd enige konfrontasie nugter benader en het altyd probeer om `n wen-wen situasie te beredder vir almal.Hy het net nooit gestress nie.Of dalk dit nie gewys nie.

Ja die posting is met eer aan Christo Lundal.

Missing kind!

Ek het ‘n beroep ontvang van iemand na aan my om seblief op die uitkyk te wees vir die kind.

MOET NIE 10111 SKAKEL NIE! Moet nie die polisie kontak as julle hom in die hande kry nie. Sy ouers het hard probeer om hom te verloor….neem eerder reg in eie hande!